Easy to say but not so easy when we are in need …
Saya bukan orang yang menikmati ketergantungan. With all those cultures, mindsets and daily living habits, I just can’t give myself to be so dependable to others. Leaning On ? ..well, honestly for me, its just another way to say tentang ketergantungan. Mungkin saya terlalu dramatic untuk meresponi issue tentang ketergantungan sehingga somehow, somewhere in my life episode, ternyata saya harus belajar mengkoreksinya.
… I was so in needs of helping hands, and still am …
I was so ill for a while until I can barely stand and walk on my own .. so helpless. It was just killing me inside that I could not do almost anything by myself … ( O help me God )
but … the words of Gods was and is overflowing..
a friend of mine texted me “de, u know whom u should lean on… it’s ok just to be a kid sometimes” and here the song from him (in javanese) :
Nyender neng sisine sopo
Nyender neng Gusti Yesus
Nyender nyender nyender nyender
Nyender neng Gusti Yesus
(dalam Bahasa Indonesia)
Bersandar di sisi siapa
Bersandar ke Tuhan Yesus
Sederhana, singkat… but I was so down in bended knees with full of tears.
There’s nothing I could do but just kept leaning on HIM, the only source of power and strength.
Now I understand …
Perbedaan besar saat berjalan dengan kekuatan sendiri atau berjalan namun bergantung dalam kekuatanNYA adalah titik awal sebuah KETAATAN. Taat dalam kesadaran bahwa kita hanyalah manusia, lemah bila tanpa tangan kuatNYA yang menopang, mati bila tanpa hembusan nafasNYA.
Menjadi pribadi yang mandiri, tidak lagi selalu berarti bisa berjalan sendiri, melainkan taat dibentuk agar menjadi semakin indah untuk menampilkan kekuatan keilahian yang telah dikaruniakanNYA.
Lean on U
It’s only by YOUR Grace that I will live today !
[ thanks @Dan - for keep encouraging me when I was in the middle of nowhere ]
